Merry Christmas!

 

December

December is turning into a month of sad memories - holidays coupled with missing people who are no longer here.

This month is the anniversary of my aunt's and my father's passings and that of my ex, my late mother's birthday, the anniversary of my mother-in-law's funeral, and the anniversary of an unfortunate injury I sustained at work.

But those are all in the distant past and time has dulled the pain. Right now, the most raw of all is remembering last Christmas with Sean and how it was my last one with him. 

Sean started showing symptoms that he wasn't feeling well a few days after Christmas. Several vet visits later we knew something was seriously wrong. Sean had cancer and it had already spread and was inoperable. He passed on January 12, just a little over 2 weeks later. He was only 10 years old. Gone too soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still miss him so much. Can't wait to see you again, sweet boy. Hug Daddy for me.

♥

Napping

Riley napping in a sun puddle in the kitchen window.

I love how the light shines through his ear.

So sweet

The sun was in Riley's eyes. I closed the shutters for him.

Enjoy your nap, sweet boy.

 

Riley The Box King

 

Sean's prayer flags

 

Many years ago we were blessed to have a vet who came to our home for all visits that didn't require a special procedure/equipment or surgery. One of the things he did for us was provide in-home euthanasia. This made this sorrowful process easier on our furbaby and easier on us, too.

One of the things that Dr. Tom did before he left after our baby had passed was leave us with Tibetan prayer flags made especially for pets. 

Prayer flags are part of Tibetan Buddhist religious practices. They are used to spread goodwill and compassion throughout the universe. The prayers on traditional Tibetan prayer flags center on supplications, good wishes, and desires for peace. These texts, prayers, and symbols are considered to become a permanent part of the universe as they fade.

The flags that Dr. Tom gave us contained the little prayer 

"You have gone ahead
And nothing is the same
Leaving paw prints on my heart
That will always remain"

 

Dr. Tom has retired and moved away and I had forgotten about his practice after Sean passed. But I remembered last week and was able to find a person on Etsy who sells them. The flags arrived a couple of days ago and they hang on our deck as a tribute to my Seanie.

 

I still miss my sweet boy and this small gesture helps ease the hurt that my heart still feels.

Namaste.

Morning visitors

 

Baby Cooper hawk

Arizona is home to a lot of interesting wildlife and part of the thrill of living in my little town - which is less populated and more rural than some nearby towns like Scottsdale - is the front row seat we get to see some of the wildlife up close and personal. I've been lucky enough to see small herds of javelina, bobcats, and yes, even a mountain lion on two occasions.

And the birds are amazing - turkey vultures, our beloved quail, and many owls, to name just a few.

This week I not only had the pleasure of seeing a fledgling Cooper hawk but I was part of its rescue. 

It started 3 days ago. I was walking Bella in our backyard and a young hawk flew past us and landed on our wall. Being the animal lover that I am, I was both pleased and surprised to see him just sitting there. He looked at me and let me get very close to him. I could tell he was young so I left him alone assuming his parent was nearby and wouldn't appreciate me bothering her baby. After a few minutes, he flew off and I didn't think about it again.

However, the next day he was back. This time he hung around and again he let me get very close to him without even attempting to get away. That just didn't seem right. I kept an eye on him for the next hour. He moved from one spot to another but stayed in the yard. My spidey sense was definitely picking up something. I called our local raptor rescue (Wild At Heart Rescue) and they made arrangements for someone to come to my house to capture him and get him medical attention. Unfortunately, by the time they arrived, the little guy had taken off. We looked all over for almost an hour but he was nowhere to be found. The volunteers left but told me to call them if he returned. Luckily, they lived only a few miles away. I was disappointed and worried but tried to console myself that he was probably okay.

BUT - in less than hour, he was back. I called the volunteers and they said they would be right over. This time, I was determined to keep our young hawk safe until they arrived. I grabbed a laundry basket, quietly walked up behind him and placed it over him. He was safe until help could arrive.

Which it did a few minutes later. The two volunteers were able to safely grab him and then whisked him off to the medical facility at the rescue.  I was given the honor of naming him. I named him Sean Patrick in honor of my kitty Sean who died this past January.

They called me later that night and told me Sean Patrick Hawk was indeed sick. He had a parasite which would have killed him if left untreated. He was getting fluids and medication and prayers were sent up that he recovers.

 I don't know if he made it. I hope he did. In any case, I am glad I was able to help in any way.

Happy birthday, Bella!

Our little girl is 10 years old today!

Happy birthday, Bella Angelina, also known as Happypants! 

Happy birthday, Chaz!

Our little Chazzie is 14 years old today. We brought him home in August 2009 to be a playmate for a young Riley. John found the ad for him on Craigs List. A young couple had just had a baby and 4 month old Chaz was given the boot. His original name was Tasmanian. He was a little happy active healthy kitten but those people thought he was a devil?

I had thought we would name him Charlie before we saw him but we compromised on his name and Tasmanian and Charlie were smushed together to make Chaz.

Funny story about our Chaz meetup: We had been looking for a while for a kitten to be a companion for Riley. But the right kitten wasn't appearing. We had already decided against 2 other cats. On the way to meet the man who was offering Chaz, John kept reminding me that we needed to not just accept any kitten. It had to be the "right" kitten. I agreed.We arrived at the apartment complex and phoned the man that we were in the parking lot. He said he would be right down. John and I paced in the lot. I remember John was a few yards away from me when all of a sudden I heard "Awwwww" and saw my husband - the one who was so skeptical and promised to be the careful one - reaching out to this little orange furball and cradling him. Chazzie had found his forever home. He and Riley became instant friends from that day forward.

Happy birthday, sweet boy!

Happy birthday, Riley!

Our boy is 15 years old today.

Happy birthday, Sweetie!

Animals mourn

 

Riley and Sean were very close. Riley babied Sean from the moment he joined our family.
And they stayed good buddies, even when Sean grew to be bigger than Riley. Riley groomed and cuddled with Sean. They slept together every night.

And when Sean passed, Riley took it hard and became ill. I thought I was going to lose Riley too.

He did the same thing when Casey passed. 

Casey mothered Riley when we adopted Riley back in 2008. She groomed him and taught him how to be a big boy kitty. He loved that. He had been orphaned and bottle fed and loved the attention and love Casey gave him.

And when she passed a few years later, Riley was ill for a month, in and out of the hospital with urinary problems.

It's been a month since Sean died and Riley seems to be getting better now. Medication and trips to the vet have been helping him. He's also getting lots of love and attention. I want him to know he's still got me and his brother Chaz and his sister Bella who love him very much.

But I know he misses his buddy.

I know animals mourn the loss of their friends, both human and animal. It's been documented across so many species - elephants, apes and chimps, dogs and horses. I've seen it firsthand in my boy.  I look forward to the day when we are all together again and loss is a thing of the past.

Namaste.

He's home now

I picked up Sean's ashes on Wednesday.

I decided to make a special place for him in the Meditation Room. He used to love to hang out in there.

Sean

Our sweet boy Sean went over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday morning.

He had not been feeling well since right before New Year's and we were working him up for probable liver cancer. He passed suddenly during the night.

He was the sweetest baby and gave such good cuddles. He will be missed by his brothers Riley and Chaz and his sister Bella. And of course by me. My heart is broken.

Rest easy, sweet boy. We will be together again. In the meantime, cuddle with Daddy on the Other Side.

Sean Patrick Collins 2012 - 2023